I went to my therapy appointment yesterday. By all accounts it went well, yet still I feel despair.

My therapist asked me if I ever wished that I didn’t wake up, and I told her that I wish that every day.  I asked God yesterday why he would make me this way? I am starting to believe that he isn’t listening, because he doesn’t exist.  That’s fine. I’m at peace with that.  

I used to be terrified at the prospect of no afterlife, but something has changed in me, and now that is my biggest wish. 

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