What not to say

This weekend is the rarest of the rare. I have Saturday AND Sunday off. Holy crow!!! How did this miracle of miracles happen? I am over joyed and stumped. 

I can’t make up my mind on a format for my journal. I love the idea of choosing a topic and writing about that. I also like keeping it simple, writing about my day. I might do like a Topic Tuesday kind of thing.

I have been trying to find a forum for parents of mentally ill kids. I would like to know what sort of odds we are up against as Snoochie grows into the teens. Advice & stories are the sort of thing I am going for.

I’ve come across a lot of lists of what NOT to say to a person who suffers from depression. Here’s some of what I have found:

1. “Other people have it worse”

Instead say “I am here for you.” 

2. “Life isn’t fair”

Instead say “You are important to me.”

3. “Stop feeling sorry for yourself:

Instead say “Can I help? Do you want a hug?”

4. “Well… aren’t you always depressed?”

Instead say “You aren’t crazy.”

5. “Try not to be depressed.”

Instead say “There is hope.”

6. “It is your own fault.”

Instead say “When all this is over, I’ll still be here and so will you.”

7. “Believe me, I know how you feel. I was depressed once for several days.”

Instead say “I will do my best to understand.”

8. “I think your depression is a way of punishing us.”

Instead say “I won’t leave & abandon you.”

9. “Haven’t you grown tired of all this “me, me, me” stuff yet?”

Instead say “I care about you” Or (and only if you mean it) “I love you.”


3 thoughts on “What not to say”

  1. I wish I had had a friend or family member like you when I was dealing with my Bi-Polar Type II depression. I was forced into institutionalization in my late teens by my family (birth mother & sibling), diagnosed with Manic Depression.
    I self medicated for the next 26 years with alcohol and drugs.
    Never in all that time did I hear a kind or supportive word and my psychosis only grew worse.
    After many failed suicide attempts, hospitalizations and finally throwing all caution to the wind I left everything and moved to a new city in search of a new life.
    After a few relapses and failed relationship I found the one true love and one that says all of what you stated above.
    I have been un-medicated and out of therapy with no relapses for the past 13 years. I owe it all to a wonderful loving lady that accepts me as I am and supports and comforts me. She knows my moods and can see when something is going down and she supports and comforts me.
    I wish you and yours the best of all wishes.
    It can be a difficult road to travel, but with a good support network, loving family and friends, it can be a good life.
    Much love and blessings to you and yours.

  2. Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience with me. You have shown me that there is hope. I am sorry that your family was not supportive during a very critical period of your life, but I am happy that you found some one who is.

  3. Thank you so much.

    The violence in my city is appalling. It seems that as in most cities the violent crime is all in a few small areas, area riddled gangs, drugs, hopelessness and apathy. The police seem to ignore the areas and the local government wants to ignore and hide the facts since this city has given up on real family supporting jobs and wanting to be a tourist destination with minimum wage jobs and no hope of advancement.

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