1/16/2017

 

After I finished preparing lunch, I took a shower, went to my room to watch Hannibal, but I simply couldn’t so I went to read Raise High the Roof blah, blah, blah. I came to the conclusion that I don’t like it. I am NO book critic though. Had lunch. After that I went to relax in my bed. Around 7 I made myself coffee and had it with a fried egg and bread and butter. I shaved my legs and got ready for bed. I went to tidy my room. Found a skirt that I’d been looking for, couldn’t find my report card, panicked, found my report card. (If only everything worked that way!) I went to bed around 11. Woke up and hesitated to get up. I got up at 7:15. Put my robe on, had some water, brushed my teeth did my makeup, took a shower and got dressed. I left the house at 7:52, realizing how terribly I had done my makeup. It wasn’t that bad, but my foundation looked orange and uneven and I had too much highlighter on. Arrived to class. First period was English, then Ethics, then Computer Science. In CS our teacher demanded from the few students who had held the presentations last time to hold them again because she hadn’t been there and we had had a substitute teacher. It’s only been one day and I’ve already had enough of fuckery. Today I’ve heard, “Do you know time isn’t real?”, “What’s freedom?”, “Maybe WW II hasn’t even taken place.”, “Utopia is something that doesn’t exist.”, “Don’t you think it’s disgusting to see obese Americans have food-eating competitions while there are x (I can’t remember the number) of starving people in the world?”, “Happiness is getting things from people close to you.” Many of those things were said by teachers.
I saw my anorexic friend today at school. She’s returned from hospital! When I saw her, I was walking down the corridor with Brandon. She looked so…her face just looked so much healthier, she looked younger and so adorable. I hugged her strongly. I complimented her eyebrows because they really looked good. Brandon was just standing there while she and I were talking. I found that to be awkward and inconvenient so I said to her, “Have fun at school!” and went away. “You really do take it slow when it comes to greeting and making small talk,” Brandon said. I almost cried.
When I came home, I made myself coffee and had some cereal. I watched and episode of Property Brothers and then an episode of Tiny House Hunting. I’m about to make a strudel as commanded by Mum.

This term I’m forcing myself to indulge in things I love to learn about. I’m surrounding myself with books and facts and relaxation time. Also I will continue to eat as healthy as I can, to drink plenty of water, to watch at least 3 films a week and to start my assignments on time. I’ll make myself get up earlier. I’m even considering waking up at 6 or 7 on Saturdays. Sure, sleeping in feels good, but something about getting up early, while the house is quiet and it’s still dark outside, makes you feel fresh and calm, how ever tired you may be.

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