Getting serious

Seriously, in order for me to make my dreams come true, its about time to change things and become more focused on school work. This is my last part of highschool (idontknow how to transelate directly to english) and after summer break im already in a new school (hopefully if i get in). 

I’m pretty sure ill get in even if i do shit now, thats just how the education system is in this country, lets call it a second chance. Still, cant be playing that way. I have decided a while ago to actually start doing my homework, assignment and presentations. Still lacking, but im trying. I’m not doing as good as i can yet, still building myself up to get to the top level I know I can be at. If I just work. 

Theres this thing called interrail, me and my bestfriend are planning on going there summer when we are both 17. Its actually not that expencive if you think about it, but still alot of pocket money needed. So, I’m planning on getting myself a part time job somewhere. Even tho I have social anxiety, its ok. Ive kind of decided to just become my anxieties enemy and do all I can and preten its not there. Indeed, its a hard task, but im seriously not going to let my anxiety stand in the way of my happy future. 

 

At school today my bestfriend was acting weird. In the first break, she left the classroom without me, which is normal (she usually goes to her boyfriend). Tho, in the second break, i stopped her before she could go out of the classroom. “Hey, you never hang out with me in the breaks anymore” then we hung out that break. She was walking super fast, and ended up walking down to the canteen. It got uncomfortable for me, since I really dont like wandering around all these people and I didnt really understand why she wanted so much to be there. We found our other friends and sat down with them. Suddenly she started sharing some drama about her boyfriend (nothing special, small stuff that happens all the time). She then told me she had deleted her facebook. Like, I got alittle mad. Since now I have 0 ways of communicating with her. Then I dont know exacly what happend, but it probably offended her. She just got up and left us. I got up too and looked for her. When I found her she way just wandering around looking for a place to sit. I just told her to stop and just relax with me, but no. “I want to be alone” she said, and just pushed me away. I get that, she wants to be alone, fine by me. But I don’t get why she has to push me away everytime, she hangs out with the other friends all the time, but when It comes to me then no. Am I too clingy maybe? Idontknow, ill just give her some space for now and wait until she feels like talking to me again. 

 

IM STRESSED AND I DON’T KNOW WHYYYY

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