Cancer. Time stood still. There we were, my husband & I, sitting on the edge of our bed, trying our best to keep our composure so our kids wouldn’t sense our worry. I was still clenching on some invisible hope that the biopsy would come back clean. The day before was the mammogram & ultrasound & followed by a hollow needle being pushed in my right breast to collect samples of the 2 masses.
After the appointments the plan was set. Surgery will take place. Bilateral mastectomy & reconstruction. Just thinking about a bilateral mastectomy makes the pit in my stomach open. After the removal of both breasts they will be tested & depending on the results it will determine whether or not I will need chemo.
When will the pit go away though? It’s been a couple weeks & I still feel just as hollow inside about all of this than I did when I was sitting on the edge of my bed. It’s the same feeling I’d get as I buckle in a roller coaster ride and am waiting for it to take off. Only it’s not from excitement. I’m not even close to being excited.