When they see your scars

Thick dark lines, etched into my skin. Deep ridges sunken into pale surfaces. My goosebumps raised in the cold and my lines turned purple, blue, black in the bitter weather. It was PE and they’re there for everyone to see. I have no choice but to wear shorts and fleece. My knees bulge over my legs. My right calf is striped at the back like a blue tiger, ankles covered in criss-cross cuttings, top thigh permanently stained with fat, deep scars that will always dip down when felt and attract the attention of others. I wish my skin was smooth and perfect. I wish I had a nice figure, slender legs, flat stomach, round ass, perky boobs. I always wonder what it’s like to be the girls that are always cute. That have always had nice hair and a symmetrical face and pretty eyes, even before pubescence. I am fifteen and still hideous the way I am. My hair is thin, my fringe takes forever to grow and is messy and wavy and sticks up. I have horrible glasses and a resting bitchface and just look awkward and ugly. I hate everything about myself.

~ S

One thought on “When they see your scars”

  1. Dear S – have you considered getting contact lenses? They don’t hurt and I bet you’d feel a lot better about your appearance. I hated my glasses too, and then got lasik eye surgery when my step dad paid for it. I used to wear contacts—either one is good. More importantly, you know you are beautiful in God’s eyes, because He loves you so dearly. You are His beloved little girl. Physical beauty is not so important. Did you cut the scars yourself? I hope you will not do anymore self-harm. The first step in loving others is learning to love yourself. Know that you are special and beloved. It’s true. I’m not just trying to make you feel better. It’s the truth of God that He loves you His own beautiful little girl. Take care, dear.

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