106 real visits/virtual visits

Can’s stay awake. Can’t stay awake. Can’t stay awake. Can’t stay awake. Gotta do something. Just had a cup of coffee. Just had a snack. Had a nice solo run this morning.  Felt good. Energetic. After a few sluggish-feeling days. Had a nice visit with my family members who came to town. Niece and I had a good time skiing on Friday. Then out to lunch. I ate much more restaurant food than normal due to the visitors. Also drank more coffee – my family are all big coffee drinkers.  It’s all good though.  We had such a great time.  I was fretting a lot before they came – anxiety was high –  but I can’t even remember why now. I just gave it all up to the higher powers and everything went exactly as it was supposed to. Niece is struggling with her demons, but she thanked me for the advice I gave her.  I hope it was helpful. I told her as she was leaving that I will never judge her – her actions or her choices. I think she appreciated that.  Having BIL and nephew here from Friday to Mon was good as well. S stayed with them at the hotel.  He loves that – and they love it too. It was good being with them though it is hard sometimes – we talk about my sister a lot of course. It’s therapeutic, but it’s still hard.

I reached for L yesterday and had a very lengthy exchange with him. During the work day. I was very unproductive. Something was making me think of him and want to escape the here and now. I did and now I am trying to close that box again and put it away in its’ corner. Maybe someday I will nail the cover shut for good. But not yet.

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