Thoughts

   I believe my friend was happier when she wasn’t what she considered “transgender”. A lot of my friends were like that. Nowadays, she’s plainly confused, doesn’t know who she is, much less what she is. She doesn’t have a stable self-identity, but one she questions at every waking moment.
  I used to consider myself to be what she claims to be, but It was more out of hate for being born a woman. Out of hate for myself, for what I am. I eventually grew up and learned to accept that I will always be a woman, it’s in my DNA, it’s part of me, how I was born.
I’ve never agreed being transgender or bisexual and such, was normal. Never. Mostly because it has shown itself to be only problematic. Made my friends miserable, some even taking their own lives. They were happier before, before that all began.
   I’ve never lost friends from my views on trans or bisexuals, mostly because I respect them, even-though I don’t accept them for what they consider themselves to be. Even when I was what I thought to be “transgender”, I always knew it wasn’t normal. Not to be bisexual or transgender. I never told anyone about it, since I was afraid. Until I grew older, I only learned to treat it as another experience in my life, a time where my path was wrong.
I’ve heard from many who follow that same path, one’s that are never happy. They either hate themselves for some reason, or they plainly don’t know who they are. Confused. If gender didn’t matter so much, then why change it? Learning how to love yourself, that would be to accept yourself and what you are.

   I’ve met many of those who get angered if I mispronounce their “gender”. But honestly, how am I supposed to see someone as women when they don’t resemble one?
I don’t believe it is normal, since if it were normal, then it wouldn’t have caused so many issues. It would have been considered normal thousands of years ago if it were so common. I have many friends who are both bisexual and trans, yet some don’t know how I feel about it directly. I wonder if they will hate me If they knew, either way. Some know, some don’t. I’m not afraid like I used to be as a kid about how I felt. I was always shielding myself.
I care for all my friends, yet a part of me dislikes what has happened to them. From being happy to depression, to cutting, suicide, drugs and then drinking. This all resulted from having zero identity. Without knowing who you are, is it possible to hold strong stable morals and high standards for yourself?

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