Day by Day,

Everyday i find my self searching for a single reason to keep trying to keep my shit together any longer. Nothing is ever enough. Two teenage kids who have no respect or care in the world what i say only thing they care about is no longer living with their bio mother. I have given both them girls my everything since day one… 3 years latter i am there primary care giver all by my self. Yes Jeremy is the one to pay the bills and keep food on the table but other then that he is not able to be much of a dad because with his job he is only home 34 hours a week, and most of the time that when the kids are with there bio mother.  Being away from the kids is really hard on him but its all just as hard on the kids being away from their dad. I know i should bitch but its hard. I am 21 years old and feel like a single mother of two teenage kids. I knew when i married him what kind of job he had but i never in my life thought I would end up raising the kids on my own. I hate to have to reach out for help, but being a mother is the hardest thing i have ever had to do. Its even harder being the second mother in the picture its constant battle. I do not wanna fight anymore i want what is best for the kids, that is all i care about. I hate to have to give them back to there bio mother because i know that is not what they want at this point. At this point i need help. Both kids are becoming way to much for me to handle on my own with jeremy gone from home all week. The kids are not “bad kids”  but they are fight all the time and when i step in some how its always my fault. Then they turn to there bio who is not much of a parent but more of a friend and of course she hates me… I am the woman raising her kids, doing the job she failed at time and time again. That does not give her the right to tell the kids to hit me, or not listen to me. The last two years have gotten so much worse with that. I just keep losing hope in my self that i have what it takes to raise these kids and help guide them in to being good people and some day even a good mom.. I did not have a good mother how the hell did i think i would ever be a good mom

2 thoughts on “Day by Day,”

  1. He is an over the road truck driver, he is only home on the weekends when the kids are with there Bio so its kinda a hard situation and when he tries to parent them over the phone they hang up on him.

  2. They are very happy here and do wish to remain living here. There bio is staying she will fight us in court. I am not worried. Yes there was one I smacked the youngest in the mouth for screaming in my face refusing to go to her bios. But… It was a mistake and I can’t take it back but it’s not a mistake i keep making like the the bios bf does day in and day out

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