Give me the strength

I have made a promise to my self that i will find the strength to get threw this.. I have been suffering from Bipolar “Manic depression II” also really bad anxiety since i was 11 years old. in 2015 I lost my first daughter at 22 weeks. It threw me in to a horrible mind state i tried taking my own life in February of 2016. Since that i have been trying to keep my moods stable and my mind steady so i do not end up in that same spot once again in my life. I have way to much to lose. I have an amazing hubby, and 2 beautiful daughters and with out me the kids will be forced to move back in with there Bio mother, which the kids really do not wanna do because of her boyfriend who they do not like because of some of the life threatening choices he has made in front of the kids and that has deeply effected the kids. I am trying to be very strong for them and Jeremy. I am dealing with a lot mentally but the physical pain. Last march i started randomly having seizures, they find a cyst in the back of my head, but the location is to risky to do a surgery. So i have been dealing well about a month about i was hit in the head and the cyst busted. Around my brain filled with fluid, its now moving down my neck and my neck hurts almost all the time but i hold it together mostly. I still manage to push threw the migraines, the pain in my neck and the pain that has moved down my right side. Some times it seems way to much to hold in and keep to my self, so i turn to my key board to escape from the misery i am feeling. Anyways its late. Ill be back tomorrow..

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