I am sitting here on my couch right now realizing how fucked up my mental state has become. I am pushing all of my friends away because I feel worthless and I have lost interest in everything I once had a passion for. I want to drop out of school and go home but I know that will only ruin my life. But I don’t care anymore because I don’t want to live. This is one of the lowest lows I’ve been in and I can’t stop thinking about how I just want to end it all now. Mary is sitting next to me and all I want to do is tell her that I’m going for a walk and jump in front of the train. I can’t do this anymore. I want to die.