I already dated someone for a little over two years, something happened to tear us apart. Over something silly, on my part, I guess, he said something that hurt me deeply and I haven’t ever been able to completely heal from it(he still follows me around like a puppy) . I promised myself I would wait until I was older to date, or fall in love, or like someone in that way. I decided I wasn’t ready for something big like that again, not after two years of dating one person. It tires you out.
I guess though, I thought maybe not wanting to be in love, or fall in love, would be enough to keep me from having feelings for anyone. I’ve known this guy since April of last year, and I always considered him as my best friend.
We could never date, it would never work since he isn’t christian. It sucks, because slowly, without realizing it, I couldn’t stop myself from growing to like him more and more until It became too painful not to notice. We couldn’t be together, we can’t ever. We fight to much is the second reason. I hate upsetting him. He’s been there for me a lot, more than anyone, he doesn’t love me like I love him anyhow.
Even if it were possible, he doesn’t like me in the same way. I thought I had closed myself off, to keep me from seeing his as anything more than a friend. And maybe, it’s cause I’m desperate to get back in a relationship, another reason I decided not to date.I felt something for him about a month ago, I just pushed it out and tried to go back to acting normal. I should have backed off of him immediately and reevaluated the situation. Maybe because he’s my best friend, I’m just confused. I hope that’s why.