Tra la la

I use this to vent. It helps me put things in perspective. I used to go to therapy and probably should go again. For the most part, this satisfys it. 

We have the choice every morning we wake up how we want our day to go. You can wake up pissy from yesterday, a day that is gone, done, never gonna get it back. Drag that bullshit along for another miserable day. You can wake up and decide you are going to make this day the best you can. Life isn’t perfect, it’s what you make of it. Today is day 28 of King being a sour puss pissy pants. Last nigjt I attempted a reasonable conversation with him. He seriously stood there going  BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH WHOOP WHOOP LALALALALALALALALA. 38 years old. Thirty motherfucking Eight YEAR OLD MANCHILD. I havebstarted recording our interactions now for legal reasons….and the fact that he is getting crazier by the day. Like brain eating parasite crazy.  Yesterday he told our 9 year old son that he isn’t his dad any more because we aren’t getting along. Biologically, he is not. Bub already knows that King has raised him since he was 6 months. I’m telling him that only a piece of shit would drag a child into this. Then he looks me dead in the eye and denys saying it. Thankfully, Bub has a voice. “Nooo dad, YOU said it, YOU always tell me I’m not your son when you and mom argue.”  King denys more. WTF?? 

The major argument is money and assets. We bought a home together. We had an agreement that I take carenof rent and bills until we had the money saved by him to buy a house outright. We live in MO..cheap houses.  House was bought with his permission while he was in prison. Money was transfered from his account to my account. His name didn’t get put on the title because he couldn’t be there to sign. He gets out of prison. I say several times lets get his name added. He declines over and over. 

So, trying to have an adult conversation last night and he keeps saying the only way he will knock his shit off is if I sign the house over. Not add his name to OUR house. Just sign it over. THEN we can work on the damage. He has made threats to take me to court and file charges for bank fraud. Good luck. I tell him to please be a childish vindictive cunt. I have way more to back up he knew I was in his account. He is so narrow minded he only sees the house. How does he intend on explaining all then other approved purchases during his incarrceration? Those were okay but the house was not? The house he has lived in for 3 years with no issues. The courts will side with me and I tell him. No, I did not show him my hand…. He tells me that if the court gives me the house, he will blow it up. Okay…so you will risk going to prison because you are a fucking 2 year old. He tells me I would have to prove it. I tell him I have been recording his nonsense. He asks me what that is going to prove….Uh, your threat to blow the house up?? Agan…looks me dead in the eye and tells me I’m putting words in his mouth. He never said it. Never happend. 2 flippin min AFTER he says it. Dead serious. 

So…today, King sits on his throne, pouting. I am playing with the kids, crocheting, checking out all the drawings the boys are making, smiling, having a fantastic day so far. I’m waiting for some friends to come by to show off my new baby goats.  

Ain’t nothin gonna break my stride, ain’t nothing gonna slow me down….

 

3 thoughts on “Tra la la”

  1. What a terrible situation. I admire you for keeping your chin up, crocheting creating, taking the high road. This man scares me. I don’t think he is sane. I am concerned for you and your son. Try to peaceably separate. God bless and protect you, precious girl.

  2. We have 2 children together. I rip him a new one any time he pulls this shit. Sad part about it, it rolls off Bubs back. I talk to him about it. I want them to understand their feelings because their dad can’t figure his out. The agreement we made 8 years ago that I would pay everything with my income and he would save his. I can pay bills like no ones business… Save money? No way in hell…just not capable. He can save money. Like dude can have 30k in savings and say he can’t afford to pay a mechanic to put breaks on so I do it to save more money. So essentially, I have about 25+k into this home ontop of all the free work I have done. I mean….it’s mine too so why not work onnthe remodles. Right? My argument with him is both our names should be on it. King AND Cinderella. Not OR.. this state is a stickler about that.
    Why isn’t he gone…. here’s the battered woman sounding excuse. He has many amazing qualities. He makes me laugh till my sides hurt, smile till my face is cramped. We have been best friends for 27 years. I have stuck by his side through his worst. Watched him overcome a meth addiction. Then a hard alcohol addiction and lastly his addiction to alcohol in general. I have got him for 2 years sober…this is were I have been wanting to be….It seems like all I have been through will be for nothing. As far as telling him about recording him….it was a stupid move and I kicked myself in the ass right after. You know how it is when heated…..

  3. I do appreciate the concern. I have a touch of crazy myself. I am a scrapper. Not frail by any means. Physical safefy is the lowest concern here. He has had a very rough past and Insee where his behaviors come from. It’s breaking down his walls that is the challenge. Slow progress but progress none the less.
    Thankfully I take an interest is psychology and am able to talk to my kids about what goes on, explain to them what is happening, possible reasons for dads behavior. We talk about different ways we can handle ourselves. As sick as it may sound…I think these kids are going to be better people for all of this.

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