Of Krakens and Schools

So, I’ve been avoiding my therapist for a while (a few days, actually), just so that she won’t ask how my journal is going. And when she finally caught me, she started telling me that letting my emotions out will help me in my personal life and with communicating.

But the trick is, I have no personal life. Or emotions.

Instead I have this dumb thing called homework, and every once in a while I have to take boring tests. And those evil inventions are supposedly going to affect my future. Every time they tell me all this, I feel less and less convinced that they aren’t some kind of fortune tellers or magicians or whatnot. 

I mean, seriously, how is being able to find the elusive “x” is going to help me fly an airplane or navigate a ship?

“Captain Flitch, we have a kraken attacking our ship!”

“Really? Cool, let’s find the x, maybe it will help!”

We were also dissecting a flatworm in biology today, to see if it regenerates or something.

“Captain, we have caught the kraken!”

“Oh, good, let’s dissect it and see if it regenerates!”

I mean, animals are fun and all, but it’s quite unlikely that I’ll ever need any of this flatworm crap.

And I also take French now after school – probably the only thing I’ll ever need. I mean, if I was to come to France, then at least I would have a way to communicate with the natives.

I really wish they taught us how to survive a shark attack, start a fire in the rain when lost in wilderness, fly a plane or navigate a ship. NOT how to find the bloody x or regenerate a flatworm. 

And I hate word problems. I hate them with passion. Especially with stupid little humans who don’t know how to measure a fallen tree.

I hope my therapist is satisfied with this boring little report.

Thanks for your time you wasted on this.

6 thoughts on “Of Krakens and Schools”

  1. Ha! You’re quite humerous, Flitch. I graduated over a century ago, and I believe I can agree with you on that. Your logs are… amusing.
    Are you a Creature, perhaps?


  2. @Chistmer, I’m merely a humble, boring, rude, annoying, sociopathic, creepy Flitch.

    Get me to smile genuinely and I’ll call you quite the genius.
    Did you have to find the x?

  3. @Flitch, er.. no. I don’t think I’ve ever found the X. That may be why I never graduated high school.


  4. @Chistmer, I guess I would have to. One can’t really become a sailor/pilot if one doesn’t graduate.
    Although I feel like I might become a detective, in which case I still wouldn’t need the stupid x. I might use some biological knowledge, but definitely not flatworms.

  5. @Fitch, I believe that you would be an outstanding detective. Maybe you could find X, then?
    Now, I must go. I have to tend to those previously mentioned thoughts. I’ll talk to you very soon.


  6. @Chistmer, thank you!
    I will be awaiting our next conversation.

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