Today has been a day of profound sadness and harsh realities. Seems the universe sometimes decides everything should happen at once and get it all over with in a day….but maybe the universe doesn’t realize, or doesn’t care, what an emotional painful journey that can be.
My heart was breaking and my soul ached most of today, trying to understand the lessons I am supposed to learn and the strength I am sure to gain from those lessons.
People who were once in my life, not very long ago, brought me to my knees today. Took life right out of me and pushed it away. Then stood back and decided, that’s not enough, maybe I’ll attack her friends too. I never would imagine this pain caused by them, but it is not my decision as to how others will treat me.
I live my life as a good person, I want to like people and I want to be liked. When that inherent trust in the world turns against me, it makes me question realities and search for good in the world. What makes people turn an ugly side, lash out and cause pain? What part of their soul feels better when others feel worse? Is it human nature or animal instinct to want to be ahead no matter how much hurt you leave behind?
I don’t know if I will ever have the answers, so for now I continue to observe, learn and sometimes suffer pain. It won’t last forever, tomorrow will be better; but for today, my heart and soul will cry and cleanse.