For about a month now I was depressed, the real deal depressed. I couldn’t get out of bed, get myself to take a shower, enjoy my time with my kid, enjoy anything for that matter. I was constantly feeling like I failed everyone, like I had failed and was failing everyone around me. I was taking responsibility for everything and every little misstep that was taking place in my life. At the same time I was doing everyt that I could to make things better. But they weren’t. They were getting worse, I was making mistake after mistake at work, I had a nervous break down, my debt doubled, I’ve failed a huge project. My back was hurting all the time. I was crying everyday and trying very hard to act at least half decent. I thought that there were so many things wrong with me and my life, that I was a failure, an ugly and dumb failure. I wanted to die and at the same time I didn’t. I couldn’t explain myself to no one, I couldn’t explain the turmoil that was happening inside of me. Even prescribed herb medication and affirmations that can me with it were not working. Or so it seemed no matter how cliche that sounds. Now I’ve always been a seeker, no matter how bad everything was, I needed an answer. I couldn’t articulate what I needed or was looking for, but I’ve read so much stuff during this time and watched some of the weirdest videos seeking out the information that I needed. Today it got so bad that I wrote a cry for help to one spiritual teacher that I’ve met once before, because I just didn’t know where to look anymore, nothing was helping and it was devastating to me. She kindly agreed to see me Thursday and things started to look up a bit, just because I’ve made that step no matter what it will do, but the first step was planted. For the first time I’ve articulated something to my boss that in couple of hours beautifully manifested: I needed more information. This evening couple of things happened, first I found a video that explained everything that I even got goosebumps. It is no secret to a lot of people who are into spiritual growth that we are entering a new era, there is a shift happening right this very moment. New vibrations are entering our earth, vibrations that will help open our hearts. The thing is that our planet and people already experienced these new vibrations long time ago, during the Atlantis and what happened? There was a restart, most people died and left this earth. What I am experiencing is an ancient state of being that I’ve once experienced in Atlantis. My soul remembers that during this time something really bad happened, to me, my body and probably to people that I loved. However this time it will be different, humans were given green light and there won’t be a restart this time. I should take the time and meditate, let my body and a hurt piece of soul know that everything will be alright. This is also why I was thinking about death a lot and couldn’t explain it. Now another recurring theme in my life was that I always blamed myself for everything and today I’ve realized that I can’t control everything, there are literally things beyond my control. This was the message that I first started to get from my family members, friends – you did all you could do, relax. Then the message got louder – one of the affirmations read that I am not responsible for everything that is happening. But I wasn’t registering it, till today. Couple of things happened at work where I took blame for something I wasn’t able to control. Till it all clicked. I was helping my ancient experience to be properly lived through. Duh! I couldn’t influence the outcome of the restart, it wasn’t in my power. I did what I could back then and now. And yes there are somethings that I can control, but I shouldn’t hold myself accountable for things that are not in my power to control. This is what the Universe was trying to show me and helped me to consciously experience. And then I got a sign, that it is just like that. My red candle broke and flooded everything around it. Good night 🌙 thanks, now I know, feel, hope, and love!