Everyone feels emotional pain at least once in there life. Some from the loss of a family member, a friend, or a boyfriend. It doesn’t feel great, it’s like a pain that can’t be described but something that hurts like hell, a pain with no name. I’ve experienced this this pain more then once. Some from losing a close friend to getting my heart broken in a relationship. I don’t really feel this pain anymore, it’s like it’s there but i’m not taking notice to it so it doesn’t hurt, i’m just dumb.
I started to feel this pain again a few weeks ago seeing a guy I dated during my Sophomore year of high school. We recently started to get close again like we where before we dated. It feels good to have him back as a friend. I’ve told him about everything that I’ve been through these past few months. So much has happened and he gave the best advice he could. I’m starting to get the feelings I had for him when we dated before. We recently hung out at the homecoming dance. He kissed me for the first time that night. I’ve never been happier, but I feel that if I try to further the relationship I will crash and burn like last time and I will have to build up my wall again. My wall is slowly falling around me and it’s because of him. He makes me feel like i want to open up and start letting people in again, but it is hard after being hurt so much. Crying at night wondering why I wasn’t good enough for them. It’s just hard and I don’t know if i’m ready to go through it again….