Broken Walls

Everyone feels emotional pain at least once in there life. Some from the loss of a family member, a friend, or a boyfriend. It doesn’t feel great, it’s like a pain that can’t be described but something that hurts like hell, a pain with no name. I’ve experienced this this pain more then once. Some from losing a close friend to getting my heart broken in a relationship. I don’t really feel this pain anymore, it’s like it’s there but i’m not taking notice to it so it doesn’t hurt, i’m just dumb. 

I started to feel this pain again a few weeks ago seeing a guy I dated during my Sophomore year of high school. We recently started to get close again like we where before we dated. It feels good to have him back as a friend. I’ve told him about everything that I’ve been through these past few months. So much has happened and he gave the best advice he could. I’m starting to get the feelings I had for him when we dated before. We recently hung out at the homecoming dance. He kissed me for the first time that night. I’ve never been happier, but I feel that if I try to further the relationship I will crash and burn like last time and I will have to build up my wall again. My wall is slowly falling around me and it’s because of him. He makes me feel like i want to open up and start letting people in again, but it is hard after being hurt so much. Crying at night wondering why I wasn’t good enough for them. It’s just hard and I don’t know if i’m ready to go through it again….

2 thoughts on “Broken Walls”

  1. The feeling your describe is grief. Over loss of any loved one, or even a pet. Don’t be afraid to open up to people. Just be cautious, not afraid. This boy sounds nice. Take it slow. Let your first love be God the Father in Heaven. Love Him the most, and other relationships will fall into place. I wish you happiness and love!

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