i did a bit of research of queerplatonic relationships. they’re cool, but i don’t know. it seems like a lot of commitment for what i’m thinking? like i don’t want to date them really, but i also don’t particularly want to have a queerplatonic relationship with them either. really i just want to be their friend.

i don’t have close friendships. i don’t seem “unpopular” really, because i have people that i talk to and say hello to and stuff, but i don’t really hang out with anyone out of school. after school, i walk straight home usually, sometimes i talk to people i know who walk the same way, but i never have plans with friends, like going shopping or watching a movie or whatever it is people do together. most of my “friends” have never been to my house, nor have i to theirs. Z was my best friend for a while, but i don’t think they are anymore. they’ve been to my house about twice..? and those were probably the only times we’ve really “hung out” ever. i mean we went to science team and the gsa-type thing together and we got food afterward¬†sometimes and we walked together and ate lunch with the same group but that’s all school-type things…

i don’t know if i really want a relationship. i think i just want to have close friends. i’m just a kid and that’s okay.

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