I was away

An internet ban for a week after my parents rediscovered I was self-harming. They took me to the doctors the next day, where they upped my prescription and tried to refer me to counselling again. CAHMs keeps rejecting me even though I’m suicidal, and I had to get my cuts checked up on my neck, chest, limbs and hips. They’re blatantly bumping me off to my school, where my school says I should see a doctor, where my doctor really can’t do much more. I just feel there’s so much effort being put in for me to get help when after hundreds of rejections, I’ll get someone and I don’t even like talking to people anyway. I hate opening up, I hate feeling patronized, studied, talked about, talked down upon. I hate people just… knowing things about me; things that not even I like. I hate it. I don’t want anyone any more, I just need to curl up and sleep.

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