Last night was a huge blowup again. I went to a friends house to get away, cry, vent, have an outside opinion from people we know.  R made the comment that King is a control freak. Yup! No doubt about that. Even over the  simplest of things. I like the shower curtain pulled closed so it can  properly dry. Saves me the trouble of having to undo and redo every stinkin ring on it to wash it. I asked him if he could do that for me..pull it closed after a shower and explained why. His response YOU DON’T PUT THE POT HOLDERS ON THE HOOK. What the fuck? He is a germaphobe and has visions of cooties creeping out of the toilet. He requested I close the lid. Sure, not a problem. It is simple. He uses the toaster oven and leaves the door open when he is done. We have a very small kitchen with no counter space and who the fuck leaves the door open aside from him. I asked him if he wouldn’t mind closing it when he was done. YOU LEAVE A DRINK GLASS ON THE TABLE.  Right…because I use that glass all day.  Any small request I make is  greeted with a FUCK YOU CINDERELLA. So, control freak. 

I came home late, put jammas on and laid down. He says we need to figure something out so we can  cohabitate. Bruh…I’ve tried. I have come to you rationally and was met with hostility. I have written you a letter thinking that maybe you might beable to see things. He asks how is he supposed to trust me after I “stabbed him in the back”. You may recall, this is over my omiting that my daughter got a puppy. She lives in our rental in the city. It’s not about the dog…it’s about her being behind on rent. I try to understand how this dog has turned into threats of court. How this dog has turned into I don’t do shit, I don’t deserve shit, this is his kingdom and I am nothing more than a servant. How this dog turned into a month long all out war. 

I want things to be normal. The good normal that we have. The sitting in the yard with the chickens normal. We need help. Professional help. It is frusturating when he is mad about one thing and brings every little thing into it. EVERYTHING he feels is some sort of injustice is now part of it. Every argument turns into finances, my daughter, the house, the fucking pot holders. It could be an argument about the kids bedtime and next thing you know I’m a lazy bitch who sits around all day playing on my phone and doesn’t contribute because he paid 5k for windows and 1k for a new well pump. Connect those dots for me if you will. 

Now he wants to negotiate. How, after a month of this childish bullshit, am I supposed to do that. We are both strong willed people. Everything has to be on his terms though. Everything. So how do I do this without throwing up a little?

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