American Things

So, while living in  London, which is basically my whole life, I had encountered a lot of American tourists. They speak with a peculiar accent, take a billion pictures of Big Ben and the London Eye, some of them go to Baker Street, and most have a funny look  on their faces when they actually try the real tea. With milk. In “cute teeny cups”.


Earl Grey.


Yes,  a cup of tea was all I needed.

Sorry. ADHD.

I had also  caught myself seeing and using a lot of American words. For instance, previously my snake was called Cookie. Cookie, not Biscuit. Cookie.

I, on the other hand,  renamed him Peeve, as in “pet peeve”, which in British would be said as “pet hate”. But here, I couldn’t name my snake Hate – people would give me strange looks at the best.

And now, with my new flatmate, who is an American, life is even harder for me. My ears ring every  time I hear “eraser”, “store”, “candy”, or “dish towel”, to name the few.

I have nothing against Americans – they are quite fascinating to me, and I like stalking learning about them, but my English instincts tell me that you have to say “rubber” and “shop”,  and that  pronouncing “can’t” as in the name “Kent” is forbidden. 

Here’s an example of a normal conversation between my flatmate, Amy, and me:

Amy: Flitch, where’s the dish towel?

Me: It doesn’t exist.

Amy: Flitch, where is the tea towel?

Me: I stuck it under the fridge.

Amy:  What? Why?

Me:  It was ugly.

Amy: It’s a plain pink cloth!

Me: Pink. What an ugly, rubbish color.


Me: I lost  my rubber,  where’s  my rubber?

Amy:  (Throws me a bag of bands)

Me: NOT THE BLOODY RUBBER BANDS! The rubber, my  rubber, a white, new rubber – where did it go?

Amy: Is  “bloody” the worst you get?


I will write about my day later, because Amy is back from the shop.

2 thoughts on “American Things”

  1. Lmfao. So, might I ask what a “rubber” is in England? Here in the United States it is slang for a condom.

    You might get a kick out of my Americanized accent – It is a Boston accent so the “R” sound doesn’t exist in most of what I say.

    “Wata = Water”
    “Caw-fee = Coffee”
    “Pawk = Park”

  2. @Therealgoddessianna
    Rubber means what Americans call “eraser”.

    The one thing that disgusts me about some tourists (not necessarily Americans) is how every other one of them takes things in a perverted way. It drives me absolutely crazy.

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