02/01/17 – It’s been a while..

It’s been a while since I’ve wrote. I think about it almost everyday.. I just don’t have the urge to do it. 

I haven’t had the urge to do much lately. The hardest part about running your own business is being responsible for yourself. It’s not the sales and the actual job that’s hard! It’s being your own adult. I can’t adult. I don’t know why it’s so hard. One bad day and weeks of work is gone. I get so low and unmotivated. It’s become such a routine that I’m use to it now. Why does this happen? I feel like I spend so much time sitting on the couch or sleeping. My house is clean, my fridge and belly are always full. I have the time and freedoms to do whatever I please… Even money isn’t that big of an issue. But I can’t get off the damn couch… I can’t do the things I need to do to better my life, to progress. It’s like my mind and body is “fine”with this everyday life. But I’m not fine with it! But one bad day and my weeks of hard work and being motivated and adulting – out the window and back being on the couch. 

Sometimes I feel like I have younger mentality. Looking back, when I had Lily at 18 – my mind must of been that of a 14 – 16 year old. I was so young and naive but I thought I knew it all. Now at 25? I don’t feel 25. I feel like my mind is still 18-21. Sure, at times I feel wise beyond my years but for the most part – my mood swings, attitude, behavior etc… Yeah, I’m not where I want to be or where I think I should be at this moment. Life.. :/


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