I’m close to my breaking point.

I’ve cancelled all of my future therapy and psychiatry appointments. There’s been an issue with my insurance, so I’m done. I did go to two appointments, but they were never able to save me. To be honest, I never had the energy to try their suggestions. You can bring a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. 

I only agreed to start going to therapy again because of my fear that my husband would have me committed to a psych ward as the alternative. That, not death, is my greatest fear. 

I have isolated myself from friends and family. All of my social media accounts have been disabled. Unfortunately I can’t isolate myself from my husband. This is the only place that I feel safe to share my thoughts. 

I’m not sure when I will choose to end myself, but it will be soon. 

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