Day 14 – depression

I’m sitting alone in my bed watching stupid youtube videos waiting for my girlfriend to call me.  she has had th busyest night ever and some of it she HAD to do but ither things she did.  im sitting alone by my self on our ten month anniversery and ive gotten nothing from her and i havent spent a minute with her either.  this is the most depressing worst anniversary ever!! litterly the worst one yet.  its not fair. and then earlyer i got upset bc she was asking wat was wring but i didnt want to tell her that i was upset at her bc she was busy bc if i told her that then she would feel guilty and it prob wouldnt go well.  so i just said its nothing and then she said well let me know if i can do anything then let me know. and i got upset and said well u seem really busy so… and then i stopped talking. then she said if ur mad at me bc im busy then its not fine.  and ive been waiting for her to call and apparently she txted me a while ago but she never said that she was done with all her stuff so i figured that she wasnt done and then i txted her and she said ill call u at 10. but that means we only have like 30mins if that to talk on our freaking anniversary!! I dont want to be sitting alone all night on my computer by myself all day! like srsly! wenever i actually depend on someone else they ALWAYS without fail let me down! no matter who it is they somehow find a way! i mean she can miss a practice to spend some time with me or not dish during the meal for on night wen she knows that she has to leave half way through. like spend 15 mins with ur gf! please! i dnt feel like i should be begging her on my hands and knees to spend time with me! she should want to! im just a depressed  sad lonely lesbian bitch 

3 thoughts on “Day 14 – depression”

  1. “i actually depend on someone else they ALWAYS without fail let me down”.

    You know the answer. I think the best that u can do, is to start loving u more. No one is going to be perfect, no one can give u everything. Is your decision, if u can be happy by yourself and u need someone else. Love u first and do things for u.

  2. I do need to do more things for me. That is true. But the one I count on the most is the love of my life. I just wish that could be enough. I wish she could see wat she does to me more.

  3. Well if she does not want to spend time with you maybe you should ask to break up or even just wait a bit or tell her how you fell.I had a girlfriend once she was my everything and I said we neened a break from each other and she said ok but I dont know how she felt about it I know I felt sad but she didnt talk to me much .I miss here so much it has been two years since we broke up and I will never forget her name Katy she lived in London and I miss her but she didnt talk to me much.So I have been wanting a girl friend for a while a girl friend who will be there for me and I will be there for them I am bisexual but I am mostly a lesbian.I’m jsut kind of ashamed of being bisexual because I think people are going to treat me differently.And I just someone who can stay there for me at the baddest momments or who can talk to me when they feel down.I just want to feel loved once more.All I want is a little Love and Care is that so hard to ask for.But keep her as long as possible and if things don’t go well just move on and try to find someone new like I am trying to find someone new.

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