Doctors Appointment

   It sounds a bit ridiculous that I’m still very much afraid of any doctor, especially the male ones. Their hands are so cold, firm, and larger than the average females.

   Today while I was doing an offline assignment, I overheard her scheduling an appointment for sometime this month, hopefully only for her. This morning she mentioned flu shots and such, also scheduling an appointment for me, which I immediately turned down

    I’m more concerned if it’s the gynecologist, no one wants to visit one, but especially not me, that’s enough to send me into full blown panic. Sure, for anyone it’s hard, but it’s especially hard if you have a history of abuse. Sure, I’ve gotten over it and I no longer have that person in my life, but I’m not over it so much that I would let anyone touch me, not even a doctor.(Reason why no one will date me, ever).

I prefer shots and needles over being touched. Shots don’t even hurt, getting my blood drawn isn’t pleasant, much better than any physical contact with any male.It terrifies me, to no end. My mother could probably care less, since she’s not the one that has to go in for something like that while in a state of panic, but I sure care.

 Just praying it’s not me.

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