I don’t trust him.

It’s been eating me up this past week. Something is up. And it’s not a Valentines Day surprise.

– he’s been spending a ridiculous longer time in the restroom

– he’s been napping with his phone hiding next to him, not his norm

– he’s been reaching out to people for work but he does this .. makes an excuse as to why he’s on his phone so much (he did this last time with a Snapchat excuse very similar)

– over loving in a fake way.. idk it doesn’t seem genuine and he’ll say one thing and then no actions, that’s why it seems fake. Because he forgets and doesn’t care and if he did… he’d remember ! 

– mood swings

– accusing me of doing something I should feel bad about ( ???  – because I took a bath .. )

– my gut feeling. 

Bottom line, it’s my gut. It’s always right. I want to ask him to please not be on his phone first thing in the morning. We use to do that little Life Hack. Because sometimes he’s in the bathroom for 30 minutes first thing in the morning. ( and when I found out about him doing this whole Craigslist/secret accounts/Reddit stuff he was emailing in the bathroom ! ) so it just doesn’t sit right with me. I don’t know what to do. 

I had a bad realization the other day. Even if we are good now, one day I will have to worry about him straying again. I feel like it’s who he is. (Or who he is with me..?) but one day, 10 yeahs 2 years 3 months or even next week.. he might get bored, lonely and feel insecure about himself again. This is such a shitty feeling. 

Why did he stop using his Snapchat? “Personal reasons”. I think it’s because I snapped at him during a fight about Snapchat .. I feel like he was almost crossing the line or about too so he needed to delete it in order to distract himself and distant himself from the situation. That’s a very BF thing to do..

How can I talk to him? I know I shouldn’t have to ask him to not be a bad boyfriend at times but if only we could actually talk better maybe this wouldn’t be an issue. 

Almost 2.5 years.. wow.  And I don’t trust him. 

Xo. 

 

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