Trails and Miles of the good husband

This something new that I am doing, don’t know where to start at. So much to say; but, I’ll try my best not to get off of subject. I am 26 and been married “happily” married for 5 years but as of these past few months its been rough. Thought my wife and I were happy but it seems only one of were happy. My wife had an affair with another man, that went on for about two months. This “man”, guess you could call him, introduced her to wonderful world of meth. I will say this, I wasn’t the perfect husband but I never once thought of cheating on my wife. I’ve known her since high school and…wanted to date her but she was seeing someone then. Than she graduated high school…that is when I lost her the first time. She was always on my mind, but I had let her slip through my hands and I vow’d that when we meet again that wouldn’t happen again. This all happened back in 2007, now fast forward 4 years and I’m in college. Got contacted by an old “friend” and was informed that the girl, who is my wife now, had a crush on me back in high school and still does. So I was beyond happy to hear that, so the “friend” to give her my number. Very happy memories of the past…now I don’t know what went wrong. My mental state is not that great, thoughts of self-harm are occupying my mind more and more. I feel like my wife, my soul mate, doesn’t want another child with me. I know at times I am a little hard to get along with but I try my damnedest. I work 40+ hours, cook, clean, laundry, help take care of our son and her… I try my best to help around our house. But despite all of this, I feel like I am but a ghost half of the time. Just another cog in this endless machine. I know some of ya’ll might think I am trying to get people to join my pity party bit I really don’t care. I need some way to vent¬†

2 thoughts on “Trails and Miles of the good husband”

  1. Bigtex26, I don’t think that the majority of people that read your post will see it as a pity party, in fact I think that it will serve to connect and help other people who may be experiencing what you are going through now. This journal post that you have begun is a great way to help you cope with your feelings, its a great way to vent and reflect how you find yourself in this circumstance.

    My heart goes out to you. I have been married for 15 years now to an extraordinary person. Like any other couple we have had our struggles but we have manage to deal with obstacles and hardship in a respectful and committed way. This has made our union stronger. We have learned over the years to effectively communicate our feelings without disrespecting the other, we have learned to be honest and communicate realistically what our expectations are from each other.
    I can tell you that being in a toxic relationship can be very destructive. It is important to address any concerns with your partner as soon as you can and not let it fester. If you just continue to live each day just hoping that things will get better-it will not-you will continue to grow more resentful and bitter. These feelings will eventually result into destroying any loving or caring feeling that you had for you partner initially.
    Nobody is perfect-but for a marriage to be solid and strong-you need more than to just love the person, there has to be a mutual respect, really be committed to each other, be loyal, and responsible to each other. A true partnership means that your partner wants the best for you, will bring out the best in you, will love you without being selfish, and would choose not to engage in destructive behaviors.” I really hope that your circumstance gets better-Good Luck

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