I HATE YOU! But I need you to say you love me

I shout abuse at you, words stumble out of my mouth,  it’s as though I am possessed the words are so spiteful that it makes me feel sick hearing them pass through my own lips.  I am angry the rage is uncontrollable the emotion is so intense I feel as though I have lost my mind.

Insult after insult!  I continue… all I want is for this horrible pain to leave my body so I continue releasing all the pain all the hurt.  

You back away…you are shocked! 

This usually plasid, kind and caring young woman has vanished in her place is a monster. You have no idea how to react, you are confused.  You remain silent.

I vent all my emotion in this ugly monstrous outburst.  Although my outburst is aimed at you this is actually when I need you most.

I need to know you care, I need to know you love me.  Please say something.  

Your silence feels like a stab in the heart.  It shows you don’t care.  I feel worthless.

I hate myself right now I am so insecure.  All I need is to know you care and I you are not going to leave me. 

The above is an occurring scenario in my life.  My own insecurities  cause me to lash out at people I really care about.  

One thought on “I HATE YOU! But I need you to say you love me”

  1. From reading this post, I interpret that you are having an inner mental battle. It sounds like you are going through intense emotional pain. You are also choosing to engage in self sabotage behavior. I hope that you are able to work through all of your concerns and are able to eventually find peace and love.

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