Log Date, 023.
Work today was mostly uneventful. I started working at the cash register, though, and Daniel was a huge help. Customers were nice, and co-workers too. Not much else happened, except for Chismin getting excited about my “promotion”, and coming in and buying a lot from us. I knew exactly what was going on, but I didn’t say anything.
As I predicted, I got home and saw Chismin waiting for me with a food platter. I sat down on the couch with him, and he gave me a hug. A big one that I wasn’t expecting. He felt cozy.
I know it sounds weird, but I liked being in his arms. I gave him a small little hug back and thanked him.
Once again, we watched TV and ate. He put his head on my shoulder, and the whoop was back. I didn’t know what to do. I liked feeling this way, I liked feeling whoop. I asked myself again, “Did Chismin feel the same way?”. I decided to test something out.
I hugged Chismin like he did to me earlier. He giggled. I still didn’t know if he felt whoop like I did, but he made my feeling so much more intense. What was he doing? I wondered. He pressed himself up against me, and I could feel myself blush. He looked so content, but I was freaking out internally.
I wasn’t upset or anything. I felt awesome. I felt like I could look forward to something– no, someone every day. If I was gonna look forward to someone every day, I was glad to have that someone be Chismin.
“Chismin, can I tell you something?” I asked him after a bit.
“Yuh-huh?” He said. I couldn’t help but smile. I actually forgot what I was going to say at the moment. I was going to tell him that I was lucky to have him. But..
“…you’re really cute.” I managed to say. I could feel my face heat up. I felt like an idiot. Chismin just stared at me for a second before laughing again.
“You’re cuter!” He said. I actually yelped at that. The whoop hit me in the stomach like a fist. And he just laughed again! I felt like laughing too, so.. I did. We just laughed together for a bit.
It felt so weird, laughing. Yeah, it sounds stupid, but I had forgotten the last time I had laughed this much with someone else. I forgot how warm it made me feel. That was whoop.
After he and I calmed down, he just looked at me. His eyes sparkled, and I hope mine did, too. He had the biggest smile on his face, and so did I.
I felt him take my hand. I actually couldn’t believe how I felt at that moment.
After about 30 minutes, he left, and I felt so warm inside. Like I had just been on a roller coaster. I want him to come back and greet me every day at work and at home. I didn’t want to leave his side. What is this feeling?? I’ve been laying in bed for so long, I’m so confused. But, I feel so happy. I feel so… loved.
I’m loved. And I don’t ever want to feel alone ever again.