I confessed.

 I waited for Chismin to arrive. The whoop was replaced with a strange feeling of anxiety not even pleasant to feel. I felt like I was gonna throw up.

He arrived soon, looking quite concerned. I sat him down on the couch.

I quit my job today. Not before getting Daniel’s number, of course, he was very pleasant to work with. I found it harder and harder to talk to so many customers and handle so many people at once. I didn’t log about those experiences because I was too busy thinking about Chismin. He had always been the highlight of my day when working there.

“Chismin, I wan know if I made the right decision.” I sighed.

“On what?”. He sounded concerned.

“Well.. I quit my job today. I thought I was doing so well there at La Beaute, but it just kept getting harder to stay away from home for so long. All the customers, the co-workers, I didn’t realize how hard it was for me to deal with it all until a few days ago. I kept having to hide in the break room to-“

He took my hand, and that shut me up. 

“Remember what I said at the party, like, 2 weeks ago?” He asked me quietly, and I nodded.

“You can’t rush yourself to be social, Chist. Don’t force yourself to socialize with so many people at once if you’re not ready.”

“But I want to be ready”, I whispered. He sighed quietly, scooting a bit closer to me. The weird feeling in my stomach was gone, and the whoop came back.

“I know you do. Everybody does. They want to be out there, and have lots of friends, but what they don’t know is that it takes time. Especially for someone who doesn’t get out often, it takes time.”

He squeezed my hand.

“But I promised I would help you. I’m so happy that you opened up to me like you did. I’m so proud of you.” He smiled at me. His smile was so cute.

“…Chismin, I.. you know I only did it because you let me know that I could do anything.” I smiled back at him. Cue a really goofy smile from Chismin. He hugged me real tight, and I hugged him back.

“I’ll take it easier from now on. Though, I don’t wanna go back to spending all day in my house.” I looked at him and put on the most awkward smile I think I could possibly wear.

“Will you still come over when you can?” I asked him. His face lit up.

“Uh, yeah? Of course!” He hugged me tighter. I could feel the air escape my lungs, but not because he was hugging me so tight. 

He’s staying over today, and we’re just goofing around and making fun of television. I don’t ever want this to end.

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