3:56 PM- Depression?

It’s been a week since school started up again after break and so far I’ve managed to be on time and also been able to exercise on a schedule.

I don’t know what’s really wrong with me though. The last two nights I only got eight hours of sleep, and I usually average about 4 hours a night.Might be why I feel very gloomy even-though I should be happy. I’ve even had thoughts of suicide, probably just from not sleeping so good. I managed to get about 8 hours last night since I slept in. I just want to curl up in bed and sleep for a long time, but I don’t really have time to be depressed.

I’ve felt odd overall though. Suicide though? Usually I never would think of anything like that. Sometimes I wonder if I’m really as emotionally stable as I want to be. If maybe I just somehow lie to myself about how I feel. The anxiety isn’t getting any better. For some reason I think my friends have been more distant from me and I feel a bit more lonely than usual. I thought maybe once we had a talk and got everything sorted out, maybe he would spend more time with me.

Maybe relying on one person is really not enough. I can’t stop relying on people, even if I strongly want to. I hope I get better, a little, or not.



4 thoughts on “3:56 PM- Depression?”

  1. I totally get you. I might be surrounded by people who love me, care about me, but sometimes I feel really lonely. Maybe you should talk to someone who listens. It might help. Talk to your friends and tell them what’s going on. You may feel better…

  2. I understand what you mean. I feel the same way.. a some point I wasn’t feeling this way though….just somewhere along the way from last year I felt so lonely and depressed. Though I keep telling myself it was going to be better and some days it is but even at those days I still feel…down. I have the constant feeling to hide, or not be with others after that. Plus your right. I rely on too many people. Now I think negative stuff when I SHOULD be thinking positive. But so far.. I think I got a little better at it. When you talked about a “him” at the end I also know how you feel. I have this guy that tbh seems like were from a drama television show. Now I wonder when we’ll go back how things are. I think I will be okaii tho. I think you’ll be okaii too. I know you will. Just think postive even if there’s not any. Here’s this quote…
    ” Were ALL BROKEN but….that’s how the light comes in”
    Not that your broken….But we all go through what your going through but we survive. Love ya Christina I hope you do better . You will .

  3. @stevestevens23
    They seem to be similar to moodswings where I’m switching between overjoyed to extremely sad/suicidal. Seriously must be something wrong with me, It will get better I hope.:)
    I did talk to a few people, but I noticed some of my friends I talk to seem to help less/make it worse, while others are really good at making me feel better(yet, those are the ones least around)

  4. @LoveLifeForever33
    I meant more like it’s okay to rely on people, maybe you need more than one person to rely on. It’s always good to find people to rely on, but also to not be totally dependent on them or yourself for your problems. Sort of a balance:)
    You can’t go through like not trusting people or depending on them, otherwise what’s the use of having others around if they can’t be somewhat beneficial to your well-being?
    People have friends for a reason, usually because they make you happy or make you feel better or you can depend on each-other, a give and take type relationship.
    Maybe the reason you’re sad is because you don’t depend on people enough? You seem to feel like depending on them is a bad thing(depending on them too much). I don’t think there is a limit, unless it’s causing both you or them emotional pain or one person dislikes how much you or they are depended on.
    I hope you get better too, just learn to let go of the bad feeling surrounding the thought of being more dependent. Don’t let your happiness be dependent on others, but still allow others to boost your happiness.

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