It’s been a week since school started up again after break and so far I’ve managed to be on time and also been able to exercise on a schedule.
I don’t know what’s really wrong with me though. The last two nights I only got eight hours of sleep, and I usually average about 4 hours a night.Might be why I feel very gloomy even-though I should be happy. I’ve even had thoughts of suicide, probably just from not sleeping so good. I managed to get about 8 hours last night since I slept in. I just want to curl up in bed and sleep for a long time, but I don’t really have time to be depressed.
I’ve felt odd overall though. Suicide though? Usually I never would think of anything like that. Sometimes I wonder if I’m really as emotionally stable as I want to be. If maybe I just somehow lie to myself about how I feel. The anxiety isn’t getting any better. For some reason I think my friends have been more distant from me and I feel a bit more lonely than usual. I thought maybe once we had a talk and got everything sorted out, maybe he would spend more time with me.
Maybe relying on one person is really not enough. I can’t stop relying on people, even if I strongly want to. I hope I get better, a little, or not.