Thursday February 9th

It’s Edward’s birthday. I texted Missy and told her to tell him HB from me. 

I didn’t have school today. Snow day. I am very very sad right now. Feeling so depressed. I miss Noah. I miss John. I can’t stand to think about it.  I’m feeling like I want to be back in Kentucky with Noah and John. 

I feel like I shouldn’t be here- like what am I doing here like I have made a huge mistake- a rash decision like I always do and then regret it. Like cutting my hair. I am freaking out right now. I am lonely and scared and homesick for my son and my dog and I can’t do anything about it. I am again to a place where I cannot imagine it getting better. I am getting freaked out and thinking about, you know, again. I miss Noah so much. My heart is breaking. 

Why am I so unlovable? What is so wrong with me? Why am I like this?

One thought on “Thursday February 9th”

  1. I’m sorry to hear you feel so unloved and lonely. It is not a feeling you want to have. take life one day at a time, one moment at a time. Breathe and relax. Life has a funny way of surprising us when we least expect it. Make 2017 your year. Time to put yourself first! But.. all one day at a time! ❤️

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