It’s Edward’s birthday. I texted Missy and told her to tell him HB from me.
I didn’t have school today. Snow day. I am very very sad right now. Feeling so depressed. I miss Noah. I miss John. I can’t stand to think about it. I’m feeling like I want to be back in Kentucky with Noah and John.
I feel like I shouldn’t be here- like what am I doing here like I have made a huge mistake- a rash decision like I always do and then regret it. Like cutting my hair. I am freaking out right now. I am lonely and scared and homesick for my son and my dog and I can’t do anything about it. I am again to a place where I cannot imagine it getting better. I am getting freaked out and thinking about, you know, again. I miss Noah so much. My heart is breaking.
Why am I so unlovable? What is so wrong with me? Why am I like this?