conflicts and a major dilemma

Today marks one day before Valentine’s Day. It didn’t happen. She came today and I froze in my tracks. The day looked dull on arriving and  I took a breath of relief realizing that she had not arrived yet. I had all these disorganized thoughts in my head of what to say without thinking and just felt sad inside. I really don’t want to hurt her or make her feel as if I’m catching feelings. It’s called admiration not a crush. What;s wrong with me really? I used to have crushes on guys in Primary School. But then again….I had bad experiences with girls and guys. Also, I looked like I had Benjamin Button disease in those times.

But…I’m so ready for tomorrow. According to numerology, the 1st, 5th and 6th are my lucky days. I hope this works. I’m not that lucky at all when I think about it.

I have so many regrets and always cower when it’s ready to face these challenges. I already that by the time I get what I want something completely unexpected would happen….also that one mistake would pop out of nowhere when it needs to. I’m so tired of running and this Woulda Coulda Shoulda. Thanks Mr. C, I finally know what it means now.

Time to start thinking of that wonderful way to say what’s on my thoughts without getting misunderstood.

Wish me luck!

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