There has been moment this week where I have thought that I was going to drink.
My brain kept telling me, “just have one it will be fine”. Deep down I know that having that one drink will lead me back down the route of darkness. The one drink will lead me to drinking away the emotion that I am currently feeling.
At the moment I feel as though I am lost deep at sea. I am sailing the waves and the shore is no where to be seen. It is scary I do not know what lies ahead I know that if I drink I will end up drowning, all I can do is hope. Hope that by remaining calm I will slowly float back to shore.
I need to ride out this discomforting feeling and accept that this phase is going to be unpleasant.
What I have learnt is that time changes everything. What seems like a huge deal now is likely to seem minuscule in a few months time. I need to be patient and believe that everything is going to be ok.
I am coming up to 12 weeks sober, I am incredibly proud. Drinking brought me great shame. The way in behaved when intoxicated was completely shameful, it didn’t bring me any good.
Now that I no longer drink I can become true to myself. The confidence I present will be because I feel comfortable in my skin. The words I speak will be carefully thought out. The choice make will be because I want the best for myself.