I won’t give in

There has been moment this week where I have thought that I was going to drink.

My brain kept telling me, “just have one it will be fine”.  Deep down I know that having that one drink will lead me back down the route of darkness.  The one drink will lead me to drinking away the emotion that I am currently feeling. 

At the moment I feel as though I am lost deep at sea.   I am sailing the waves and the shore is no where to be seen.  It is scary I do not know what lies ahead I know that if I drink I will end up drowning, all I can do is hope.  Hope that by remaining calm I will slowly float back to shore.

I need to ride out this discomforting feeling and accept that this phase is going to be unpleasant.  

What I have learnt is that time changes everything.  What seems like a huge deal now is likely to seem minuscule in a few months time.  I need to be patient and believe that everything is going to be ok.

I am coming up to 12 weeks sober,  I am incredibly proud.  Drinking brought me great shame.  The way in behaved when intoxicated was completely shameful, it didn’t bring me any good.  

Now that I no longer drink I can become true to myself.  The confidence I present will be because I feel comfortable in my skin.  The words I speak will be carefully thought out.  The choice make will be because I want the best for myself.


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