Of Hot Air and Health

Monday has always been their usual self for me. As it has been for millions.

I woke up this morning feeling bloated. I pissed into the toilet bowl, and the flow wasn’t as smooth as it was when I’m eighteen, or even twenty-eight. I keep looking forward to some bad news or difficult task at the office.

At the office, the tasks keep pouring in. I did what I could, and wrote down what I couldn’t keep up. At about eleven, I went downstairs of the building I worked for a smoke.

Halfway through the cancer tube, I farted. Then again. I let it rip, risking my any wet farts that may ruin my new pants. Guess what? The bloat is gone. I felt light. Even mildly looking forward to lunch.

So constant readers, there is nothing like health. Your job may require you to be cleaning toilets with your tongue (metaphorically speaking), but with health, you can conquer anything. Would you rather be that rich, bloated sick guy on that toilet seat?

Go out today and exercise! eat well! Let’em rip!

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