The Truth:

The truth:
28/12/2016 03:43:41
The truth is I have never been okay, sure I laugh, an I smile.
But something has always been off. I have never known “Grey” I live on the outside never knowing how to get in how to be in control. I either fall in love very hard or hate passionately, I’m that person who is never happy, not because of you or what you might have done. But because I don’t know nor do I understand the meaning of being happy truly happy. I am always feeling the void. I can attempt to fill it with bull shit. But someone once told me its both a blessing and a curse to feel everything, and nothing, So very deeply.
Some days, I feel everything at once. Other days I feel nothing at all. I don’t know which is worse: Drowning beneath the waves. Or dying from the thirst. -O.m. 
This speaks to me in a way cant describe because it explains my life in ways I didn’t realize existed.
 I’m not depressed but I may not be happy I have the ability to shut it all out, the pain the anger the resentment the laughs the smiles, the feeling of the missing piece “the void”. But doing so has it own consequence’s. 
Like when I come back, I feel it ALL. Everything. I become so overwhelmed with so many different emotions that I cant began to panic, and I cant breath. I know its not healthy but sometimes I cant bare to feel it all.
I would almost beg to feel nothing.

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