heart heart heart (no breaking today)

this morning:

forty minutes spent walking to school in soaked jeans and shoes, with the tote holding my mousetrap car clutched in my arms while the wind drenched my left arm and all of the lower half of my body, and my backpack.

curses. my library book got wet. i’ll probably have to pay a water damage for fee when i return it, either tomorrow or thursday; i don’t mind, i feel really bad for letting the book get wet, even on accident.

but the mousetrap car went 24 feet. not horrible. so i made four extra points for that, but lost five points for not actually SETTING the trap, so in total, i lost a point for the design and testing. but it’s alright. most people in my class lost five points for not setting the trap; it wasn’t in the rubric our teacher gave us, so……

another amount of points will be the paper i turn in later in the day. i shouldn’t lose too many points on that………. hopefully. i really need this grade, because the first six weeks of this semester ends this friday, and my grades for accounting, english, and physics are all lower…….. this makes me sad.

today is valentine’s day but nothing has happened for me, other than getting two pieces of free candy from my programming teacher and a bag of doritos from the school, since it’s student appreciation week. i also got a breakfast ticket during success, for the a/b honor roll breakfast that’s being held on friday. might as well go; free food and all. i didn’t see my name written on the heart-slips tied to the staircase; it was probably there, and i just didn’t see it. or maybe someone who hates me ripped it off, i don’t know.

the results of the soulmate survey thing cost three bucks, and i didn’t have the money. at least, not on me. even if i did, i wouldn’t spend three dollars on something like that, where it’s just telling you who got similar results…… i looked at my friend’s, and it doesn’t seem worth it. those three extra bills can go into my college fund. lol jk.

i also took an english test. i probably got another 85 on it, or something. jesus. yesterday i found out that i only got an 85 on a major essay and i was ready to cry before i forced myself to cheer the fuck up, although i still want to forget that score. and i still don’t know the results of my accounting test.

my shoes are still wet.

hmm. it’s almost time to go. today in programming, we’re just reviewing. we have two tests in a row, tomorrow and thursday. i also have a history test tomorrow that came on extremely short notice (the teacher only told us we were taking it, yesterday). damn it, i can’t wait until this week is over so i can clean up my room (i don’t bother to organize anything when i’m busy) and sleep and think about which colleges i’m going to look at.

i made a last entry private because it sounded so hysterical. man, i really hate myself when i get so panicky and emotional, as if the world is ending. it feels awful when i’m down, but it feels embarrassing once i’m up and okay again and i’m just cringing away at sad me’s thoughts and actions. so childish.

lo-fi beats. love them. i want to go home and listen to music and do nothing else, but the minute i get home i have two tests to study for, so…………

but it’s valentine’s day and i’m trying to be happier, so it’s all about hearts today, and no breaking.

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