Valentines Day.

I feel so unloved today. And it’s Valentine’s Day. How silly of me. Scrolling threw Facebook seeing all the love leaves me feeling depressed and sad. Being alone and married. Being married to someone who never acknowledges anything. Not birthdays or Christmas, or Valentine’s day. Seeing everyone so happy, posting pictures of flowers and chocolate. Seems silly of me to feel so sad. I guess I feel like I’ve been cheated or I’m missing out on a loving spouse. I don’t even want his love though. He’s more of a friend to me, or less than that . He’s not my romantic partner. I feel triggered to find someone to make me smile. It hurts so much knowing I can’t though. Being stuck with someone who has nothing to offer me, other than his pay check on Fridays. A hug would me nice, a kiss, a “your Beautiful” and i love you. I haven’t felt loved in years though. Why would it suddenly change today? How silly of me. Being unloved, married and lonely is hard. But no one out there would understand. I have to suffer alone in silence. I wish someone could just give me a loving warm hug. Genuinely ask me how I am. I feel like the only people who keep my heart warm are my kids. I feel deserving of so much more. Anyway. Here’s to yet another loveless Valentine’s day. 

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