Counting to 10

No offense but whoever came up with the counting to 10 when u angry is stupid. Never has worked for me! Only make me angrier!! So sick of this crap…having an anxiety attack, just wanna go to a secluded place and scream and punch anything i come across. Anyways…reason I’m this pissed off is because friend was here earlier and we was watching tv and my hubby wanted me go to bed…at 800pm…wtf. He decided he was done talking to his bro in the dining room and so i should make my friend leave and go to bed…said no especially how he was talking to me!! So he goes to living room where we at and shuts off all the lights…really? Im surprised he didnt grab me by the hair and drag me like the cavemen used too. So then she leaves quickly…and so i come to room and he starts talking and i just went off…then i just shut down and cried…he finally stopped trying talk to me after i threatened to leave. ¬†Then minute ago he starts trying talk to me decently. Screw that and screw him! Told him to stop talking b4 he pissed me off more!! He LAUGHS…so needless say im beyond pissed, im crying, anger is turning to depression real quick. I dont understand why we together. He loves me and i know he does but i am more attached and dependent on him. I think back to everything he has done to me. Im no angel but November 15, 2015 i found out he was talking another girl (i was in denial bc knew long time b4 that). But the 14th he was outside til 3 am talking to her after eating and him drinking…wouldnt of hurt so bad except for fact that November 14 is my bday and to have him out in his truck til 3am calling her made something inside me snap and havent been the same since. Since i cant afford a mental health doctor u all get to hear bout it. Guess goodnight for now…

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