Yesterday was my birthday. I spent it on a marathon field trip to Washington DC. I had to get up at 4:30 am and Uber to school. I couldn’t wait on the train- I was afraid I’d be late. I was told to be at school at 5:20 and that we were leaving promptly at 6:00. We didn’t leave until after 6:30. It was very disorganized and chaotic. For some reason, they changed all the groups at the last minute. I looked at my group, etc. info before I left on Wednesday, and that was not at all who I actually had on Thursday. We didn’t get back until near 10pm. I was falling asleep on the bus. I am not usually able to sleep anywhere but my bed- literally- not even on my couch, but I was THAT tired that I was falling asleep sitting up on the bus. I was so damned happy to make it home! Today is another fucked up schedule day where I don’t get my regular planning periods. Luckily, the kids haven’t been terrible. Possibly because they are tired, too. I still have one more class to go.
Just Keep Swimming
I am a 48 year old adult child of an alcoholic. My childhood could have been a Lifetime movie. I am dealing with PTSD, anxiety, and severe depression as a result. I am working on gaining an understanding as to what this means and learning how to be okay with myself. Some days, just killing myself and being done with it seems like the most sensible option. On those days, I keep telling myself, "just keep breathing in and out, that's enough for today."