Today i woke up and was in a great mood. I finally had plans for the day, rather than sitting on the couch waiting for the day to end. I went for breakfast with my sister and  we did a bit of shopping. Well she did shopping… Thats when i got upset.

Ever since i was 15 i worked my ass off and saved every cent i could. I have always been a hard worker and great with money until i had a baby.

When i got pregnant i had to stop working because my work wasn’t a very good environment to be pregnant in. My partner barely worked and money became tight and my savings started to go down. After my baby was born things got better. My partner started working and my savings went up again.

When my baby was about 10 months i started working on the weekends just for a bit of extra money and to help pay off my new car that i could finally afford. Today shopping with my sister and hearing how much extra money she has and watching her buy such expensive things just made me a little sad because i realised that i don’t have those luxuries anymore. I was always the best off with money out of my siblings and now i think i am worse off and today that hit me and it’s not where i wanted to be at this point in my life, especially with a child. I want to be able to splurge on my child and get everything that they deserve and i can’t do that. It’s not fair on them and i feel guilty as hell!

2 thoughts on “Guilt!”

  1. Might I offer a suggestion?
    Stop giving a fuck about what others have. You are a strong woman who has struggled to make it where you are to see about your family.
    Don’t be offputted that your sisters can get the luxuries now while you can’t, your time is coming soon.
    You worked hard for the things you have now, enjoy it.
    And hey, your child would still love and appreciate you for all the love and care, not for what you can buy them.
    Toys, shoes and clothes fade, the love you have for you child in knowing that you tried you best to provide the very best for them, that will NEVER fade!
    Hold on, Have Faith and know that things will get better.

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