02/18/2017 06:01 Bright Side.

Today is good, I am actually about to head to bed. I stayed at work till 01:30 since I was closing and had to help clean the restaurant. I am still really liking my job and am already up for a possible promotion. I have taken my melatonin and am ready to curl up into bed. I was finally able to scrap my car today and must remember to take the title up and junk it officially at the court house so that I don’t have to pay more taxes on it then I really need to. My finances are still a mess but with my boyfriends love and support I am slowly getting things in order. I can’t believe how lucky I am to have him in y life. I have started writing again and drawing a bit too.  I am working on a story now that I have been playing with for a long time but never really pieced together. but hopefully with a bit of a push from my boyfriend I will be able to keep it up this time. I am slowly introducing him to people in my family since he doesn’t like meeting a lot of new people at once. Introducing him to my father has been the hardest to arrange. Even though Dad was so offended he hasn’t met him yet and that I didn’t introduce him when Dad was last in town now that I have moved in and was trying desperately to arrange it so that we could get to know each other it is border line impossible to contact him. He wasn’t there for nearly all of my childhood so I honestly don’t know why I keep trying to connect with him and just keep getting spurred and hurt and end up feeling like some how I was just not a good enough child for him to love or pay attention to, but I do. I know it’s not good for me in the long run and that I’m an adult and should just move on and not worry about what an almost stranger has to say I still want him in my life. It’s weird and even though I want to abandon him like he did me when I was three, I just can’t. It’s not in me to hurt people like they do me and even though people always tell me that I’m naïve or stupid for always thinking that good and great people are out there, that’s what led me to meeting the man I am with now who is amazing, supportive, and pushed me to do and be better so I will continue to look at life with hope and even though I get burned sometimes I will keep reaching for the sun and the bright side of life.

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