111, FIL

“Strange times” – that’s how H put it yesterday. His dad has decided to stop his medications. The meds that keep him barely functioning.  He doesn’t want to live – exist – the way he is.  In a word – he is “done”.  I don’t blame him.  I remember him saying years ago that if he ever reached the state he is in now – he wanted it ended.  He’s been on meds for several years. But his disease has only progressed. How much time he has left we don’t know.  Could be days or weeks. H has very mixed feelings about it. He is sad of course. But he said – “in a sense my father has been gone for a long time”.  I don’t want him to leave us either, but I do want him to be at peace.   

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