36

Google says there’s about 36 hours of difference between your place and mine if I take my car and decide to drive on just to give you a hug on this day. This means I would have to drive for like a day and a half. I would have to spend those hours driving non-stop if I want to be with you. So if i’d want to be there by 21, I would have to leave by 18 or 19 considering sleeping or eating and all those things. Now I don’t think I’ve ever drove any more than 1:30 hours straight and I pretty much didn’t find that tiring. Now, if we talk about 36 hours, that’s a lot. Now I want you to be sure of just one thing: you’re worth it, you’re worth driving for 36 hours and even more. 

You’re worth the 2,616 kilometers that have us apart. That means 2616000 meters and i still don’t think that’s enough to make sure you know how much you’re worth. Hell, you’re worth all the kilometers if I were to leave to europe and then fly to mexico because that’s even more kilometers and you should know that, everyday, you’re worth so much and please remember that. 

Now I know you don’t like birthdays so much but there’s something you should know today and not just today. I know you might think: “Key is doing this just because it’s my birthday and she feels like she has to give me something” or say something like “you didn’t have to”. I’m telling you one thing, it’s not the case. Everything I do to you it’s because I want to do it, because it’s there in my heart and I think that if I don’t say the stuff I feel concerning others, then how the hell are they ever going to know that I love them? Of course, I don’t do this stuff with everyone else. I don’t think I ever put so much efford into something than the things I want to give you because I think you deserve very good things and ew, qué feo si no me emociono escribiendo esta biblia o qué feo si no te hago bonito porque creo que no sería suficiente y ew, qué feo si de repente comienzo a mezclar idiomas. Y ew, qué feo si te diera algo simple porque tú jamás serías una persona “regular” o “normal” para mí, independientemente de lo que pase. 

And i also want you to know that i’m not doing this because i might want something in return or like, demand something from you. No, i’m doing this because ufff i really love you and you don’t have to answer to it if you don’t really feel like doing it ¿? like i don’t know if i make sense sometimes. 

I know there’s a bunch of things that happened to us. I know I hurted you. I know we hurted each other even when we promised we wouldn’t do it. I know we promised a lot of stuff and that hurts a bit sometimes. But relationships are all about the good and bad stuff. We all like the good stuff, we like those moments because it make us smile. Of course, who in their sane minds would like the bad times over the good ones? No one. And the tears, the pain, the hurt, I think that that’s part of the package as well. Because, maybe, the reason why it’s so bad it’s because it’s also so good and way better than the bad times. I know there’s a lot of stuff I could write about it but now there’s not the day to remind you of bad stuff or things that hurted you. But I want to go somewhere with all that stuff. Even when all the bad things that happened to us, I still love you just the same as I did back in 2012, back in 2013, back in 2014, back in 2015, back in 2016, now in 2017. I hasn’t change and you need to know that (i believe) ((or at least i want you to know it))

But today, today is the day to celebrate. Because 24 years ago you were born. 24 years ago your mom was giving birth to the person that would change my whole life. To the person that would make me smile even she had no idea that she was making me smile. To the person who deserves a million things but says she doesn’t. To the person who doesn’t think she’s so beautiful and cute yet everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but youuuuuuuuu. To the person who I want to understand and support if she lets me. To the person whom I love with all my heart (no exaggeration or anything). To the person who I want to protect and take care if I can. To the person who gets so cute talking about the things she is passionate about and things she love. To the person who was with me through so much and is still here. To someone really smart, intelligent, worthy, strong, amazing and beautiful.

(lost count on all the times i called you beautiful)

So from this day i hope you really enjoy it and that you celebrate with all the people you love and friends and family and dogs. Really I just really want you enjoy this day and be happy. But no, I just don’t want those things to you only on this day. I hope you’re really happy everyday, to know that you’re loved everyday and not just on this day. Because birthdays are not supposed to be the only day to be reminded of everything and to celebrate stuff, no, it’s just a way yeah but it’s not supposed to be just one day. 

Today you add another year to your life and I wish you know how proud i am of you. Because i think you’re a really strong person that has been through a lot of stuff and yet somehow is still right here standing strong and defeating those difficulties that life throws at us. I’m so so fucking proud of you. So proud that you’re in the place you are, to all the things you’ve accomplished and all the things (i know) you will. 

& this is my humble stuff i did to your birthday. a journal ¿? for a month even though i’m sorry i couldn’t exactly write something on certain days because i was in a really bad shape. but i didn’t wanted to write something like just a bunch of stuff and then give it to you and take a pic. No, i kind wanted to do something different this year and i still feel like i didn’t exactly make you justice or give you something you really deserve so i apologize because i still think this is so little compared to what you deserve

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