I realized today, I am near the completion of my 30 Days of Discipline. Have I examined discipline? Learned what it is? Applied it to my life moving forward?
The definitions above define it as correcting, training, enforcing and prescribing behaviour to perfect mental faculties and moral character.
Tonight I am looking back, not just through these 23 days, but the last 238 days….my last day of work and the first day I realized things were not right in my health. Reflecting on the actions I have taken to learn discipline, to train my brain, enforce my own strength and once again gain control.
Have I succeeded? So much has happened in these 238 days – loss, failure, anger, pain, fear, truth…..moments in time when I didn’t move, eat or barely breath for days. Times when I cried until I was physically exhausted and wished for more darkness. And just when I would start to see a sliver of light, another dagger would fall; there were a few of them.
Then today happened. Today changed everything. Ok, not changed….but maybe lined up all my lessons and handed them to me. I was so happy today. The world smiled on me and nothing took it away. I realize as I sit here in the quiet peace of my home; I am safe, loved, calm and most of all, ready to be alive again, taking with me all the disciplines I have learned.
There are so many people to thank, who have stuck by me without compromise. Watched me cry, hurt, smile and eventually laugh. I think the greatest thanks I can give them is to resolve to my discipline, to the lessons I’ve learned and remain true to my destiny, knowing my path will continue to move forward and it is my success or failure that will lead me.