The Funeral

I’m ready now.

You helped form my perspective on life and love. You are the reason I decided to always love to the fullest and live in the moment, no matter the circumstances. Because of you, I decided to always give myself what I want, and do what I believe is best for me, despite what tomorrow holds. In a way, you helped form my heart. You are a big part of the reason why I am the way I am now. And for this reason, you will always be special to me. I would absolutely never give it back for the world.

But your actions never spoke louder than your words. You took advantage of me and constantly let me down. You are nothing but a liar, to both me and yourself. You could never be brave for me. Just because you were my first does not mean you are my only. No matter how great it seemed, it is nothing compared to the great things that lie ahead in my life. I’m sure of that. And you are not the person I thought you were. The person I miss does not exist. Now I know for sure: you do not miss me either. My questions are finally answered, and I could not be more relieved. We are not meant for each other. 

I was told that one day I would look back and know exactly why it had to happen. Today is that day. I had my doubts and guesses before, but now I know for certain. You were a part of my life to help form this new part of who I am. And I couldn’t thank you enough for the experience. But that is all that will ever become of us. The world is far too vast for me to believe that my soulmate lived only fifteen minutes away from the place I’ve been wanting to escape for my entire life. I may have loved you once. And that seventeen-year-old girl from the summer will always love and be infatuated with the idea of you and her. But I’m not seventeen anymore. I don’t love you or want you in my life. I don’t miss you, and I swear I’m not lying to myself. I hope you find happiness, with someone else or whatever it is that you need to make you happy. 

I truly know in my heart that it is really over this time. Our paths will never cross again, and I never want them to. I know I have been putting it off, but I am finally ready this time. I’m finally doing what I should have done in the first place. I’m letting you go and leaving the past behind me, permanently this time. I will never miss you again. I’m ready for the funeral.

Goodbye.

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“You know when you think you know someone? More than anyone in the world? You know you know them, because you’ve seen them, like, for real. And then you reach out, and suddenly they are just… gone. You thought you belonged together. You thought they were yours, but they’re not.”

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