today was the last time i was part of an independence march at school. i marched for the last time with the standardbearers. i missed the closing march because of misinformation luis jose spread about us not marching again, when it turned out we actually would. i cried. mostly because mom kept blaming it on me and emil being “outcast” all the time. i just wanted to show her how angry i was. it wasnt my fault.
emil came over. we watched anime (1.5 hours total) and kissed (7 hours total). i was really happy.
hes going to samana tomorrow on a trip w his family and his family’s leeches (why is there always so many of these). he’s stayin there until monday
before going to sleep we were talking about the icecream he had bought for me but couldnt bring me to school. then i dont know why i got really pissed about him picking it vanilla when he couldve picked chocolate instead, which i vastly prefer. i even told him to keep it. i feel so mean. he just wanted to do something nice for me. im exactly the kind of person i criticize all the time. im the kind of person i hate so proudly
i wanted today to end fine but i guess that cant be. im really close to crying and i dont know what else to do but sleep and hope i’ll feel better tomorrow. i shouldnt pretend he should easily guess my every thought. i shouldnt ignore his good intentions
i hope he calls me before he leaves