Dear E,

 

Thank you for letting me go this time. We didn’t make a good match. You didn’t end things with your ex very well which left a huge mess for me when I posted a pic of us on Instagram. You didn’t take up for me when her and her friends attacked me. You blamed me for the drama that you created by not clearly defining the lines of your relationship with her. You also participated in posing for the picture which you knew I’d post. Then you had the audacity to be upset when I let you know that how you handled the situation with her made me rethink things with us. You leading her on to avoid getting your car and cell phone out of her name is a really shitty thing to do to someone even if it is someone you don’t want to be with romantically. You can say I knew, but I didn’t know. You only disclose information in bits. Strategically leaving out the important parts. 

I helped you every single time that you asked me to whether it was convenient for me or not and you called me “self-centered”. A self-centered person wouldn’t go out of their way to drive you across the state.. twice. A self-centered person wouldn’t have cared if you had a root canal appointment in the middle of the work week that you needed a ride to and from… a self-centered person wouldn’t have spent money washing your car while you were at said appointment so that you’d have a smile on your face when you came out. A self-centered person only cares about themselves. If you’d like to see what one looks like take a glance in the mirror, boo-boo.

You do not know what it means to love someone. When you truly love someone no one else will do. Not for one night, not for one day, not for one second. Be honest with yourself, you have never loved anyone.

I will miss the good times, though they were few. Our home-made pizza was the shit. But I’m glad things ended. I do not want to spend my life making sure you’re doing the right things when you do more wrong than right. You are an adult you know the difference between right and wrong. It’s up to you to do the right things.  You can not expect people to always forgive you for making bad choices when you know the difference and continue to make them. 

And just so you know, I know your hang-ups are not my fault. I know I’m not self-centered. I have plenty of flaws, don’t get me wrong. No one is perfect and I don’t pretend to be, but none of what went wrong with us was my fault. You picked a fight with me so you could go screw a hoe and not feel like you were cheating on me. I wish you’d be a man and admit it, but I’m not holding my breath. Lying is as easy as breathing to you. Sometimes I think you prefer it to keep drama going. That’s fine, you don’t need me to keep drama going you do just fine creating it on your own. 

I didn’t express my feelings to you more because you didn’t deserve my love and affection. I was afraid of falling for you and I had every reason to be afraid. 

I pointed out you had hoes because you had them. No gentleman has hoes. If you don’t want someone to point out something you’re doing wrong, perhaps you shouldn’t do it. 

You asked me to speak like an adult and leave the sarcasm out of it and then you got sarcastic with me. You asked me to let you speak and then wouldn’t let me speak when it was my turn. You wanted me to treat you like a King but you never treated me like a Queen.

You’re 29 years old. Grow up and start acting like a man. Take responsibility for your life, pave your own way and stop relying on other people to make you happy.

Long story short: I want a man, not a child. I want someone who works as hard to be good to me as I work to be good to them. I want someone who is honest even when it’s hard and not convenient for them. I don’t want to be lead on, lied to, or talked down to. That person is not you. I’m glad we both understand that now.

Peace.

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