So much. There is just so fucking much. Struggling to find the balance between taking things on and letting them go. And life on this rock is such an ever evolving and retreating mess that at times has these opposite ends of your progressive spectrum collide with fury. I often find joy in helping others. Often though I do not know when to take a break or how to do so without having some levels of expectations of reciprocity. There is a constant struggle eternally, a war with multiple fronts, with yourself at times being the enemy behind the line. How brutal it is to knowingly betray yourself time and time again. To stand on the edge and look down, knowing that water is wet when you touch it. And every time you fall for her it hurts even more than the last time.