Why

Why do I stay where I know I’m not wanted? Why do I live with people who act like animals? Why do I stay with a girl who doesn’t want me? I know that she doesn’t love me, it’s been clear for so long, she wants more than Ivan offer her right now, she wants me to be someone I am not. I had been afraid that her distance and lack of attention when I would speak of even meaningless things, that she would find somebody else. When I found the messages and confronted her with them, she tried to say it was my fault. I would like to get over it but I simply cannot, she has people that she can talk to, I have nobody. I can’t talk to her about it cause she thinks I want to forget about it, which I do but that wouldn’t change the fact that she did it. She found somebody else when she didn’t want to talk to me, she will do it again. I ask myself, why do I stay with someone who treats me so badly, and never wants to be interested in me? Why do I continue to live with her and her family, when I’m never happy here? Am I scared of being alone? I just want this nightmare to be over, I just want someone who will actually put in effort, rather than expect me to fix everything alone. I just want to be loved. 

One thought on “Why”

  1. Whoever you are, where ever you are, you will probably expect someone to say “you deserve so much better” or “why don’t you just leave?, I would if I were you.” well thankfully, I think, I am not that person. I want to say that you obiousally still have hope that things will work itself out or that it will get better. Don’t let people say that it wont because it very well might. Hold on to that hope for as long as you can. Hold on to it until you feel like letting go. You will know when to let go. Us humans have a sense for that kind of stuff so you are not right or wrong for staying. You’re just doing what you hope or feel or think is right. or I am totally wrong and you want to leave more than anything but being with them is easier than being alone.. I don’t know. but think about 5 years from now. this will all be a memory. You will move on eventually or you will fix things. or they will just work themselves out. But I wish you the best of luck!

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